The Worst Best Christmas Pageant Ever is one of my favorite Christmas stories! I haven’t gotten to see the play version in a while (our local civic theater is putting on a production soon, though, and I’ve got tickets), so this will be based mostly on the movie.
The Herdman kids: Slytherin. From threatening the other kids so that no one will volunteer for the lead roles in the Christmas pageant, to drinking the communion wine and stealing from the offering tray, nothing will keep these kids from doing and taking exactly what they want. Their desire to play the leads in the first place also points to Slytherin. If they were really just there for the snacks, they wouldn’t mind playing shepherds and angels, but they want to make their mark on the play.
Grace Bradley: Hufflepuff. Determined, hard-working, and willing to give every child a chance, Grace is a classic Hufflepuff. By the time most people would have thrown their hands up in the air and given up, Grace has decided this is going to be the best Christmas pageant ever. Getting the Herdman kids to behave for long enough to get through the pageant requires some serious Hufflepuff patience and dedication.
Beth Bradley: Hufflepuff. A normal kid to contrast with Alice’s prim-and-proper snobbery and the Herdmans’ chaos, Beth doesn’t really stand out in a lot of ways. She’s the narrator, but she’s only an observer in the story. However, she plays her part in the Christmas pageant faithfully and seems like a sweet, down-to-earth sort of girl. I’m deeming her a Process of Elimination Hufflepuff.
Alice Wendleken: Hufflepuff. As a foil to the Herdman children, Alice is a Hufflepuff in the vein of Ernie Macmillan and Zacharias Smith. That is to say, she’s a bit self-righteous. She always plays Mary, and she will have it be known that it’s not her fault when this turns out to be the worst Christmas pageant ever. However, she’s not brave enough to actually stand up to the Herdmans, so Gryffindor is out. I think she would like to see herself as kind, loyal, hard-working, and all of that, and sorting is about what you value as much as what you are.