Continuing what I started with Gryffindor earlier today, here are ten Taylor Swift songs that remind me of Slytherin house. Not all of these are necessarily the venom-laced recent ones, but they’re all about things like ambition, revenge, clever schemes and trickery, or simply being guarded and secretive.
Cold as You
It was very hard to find any songs for Slytherin from the earliest albums. The “Old Taylor” was just so sweet and genuine, even her breakup songs are more righteously angry than vengeful. But this one is all about a manipulative relationship with a two-faced person, so I think it fits. “Every smile you fake is so condescending counting all the scars you’ve made”.
I’m Only Me When I’m With You
The other early Taylor Swift song I chose is not a manipulative or vengeful song at all, but rather, an upbeat love song. How does that work? It’s all about being “on my guard for the rest of the world” and careful who she reveals her secrets to. “When I’m with anybody else, it’s so hard to be myself and only you can tell,” Taylor sings. Slytherins are very good at putting on a mask for the world that they only remove around their most trusted loved ones.
Better Than Revenge
From Speak Now, this song is all about … well, revenge. And being underestimated. And that good girl image hiding something powerful and dangerous. “She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum / She underestimated just who she was stealing from”.
The Lucky One
In hindsight, this song could almost go on reputation, although it dates back to Red. With lines like “And they tell you that you’re lucky, but you’re so confused / ‘Cause you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used,” the song explores ambition, fame, and the pressures of being a celebrity.
Oh my goodness. There is so much that’s Slytherin about “Blank Space” that I don’t even know where to start. Maybe with “screaming, crying, perfect storm / I can make all the tables turn / rose gardens filled with thorns”? The lines like “baby I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream”? The repeating idea that love is a game to be played?
Gryffindors tend to be charitable and forgiving; Slytherins not so much. They are much more likely to take the attitude that “band-aids don’t fix bullet holes” and continue to carry a grudge.
The New Romantics
Part of being cunning and ambitious means being able to take what life gives you and use it for your own ends – or in other words, to “build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me”. Lines like “We team up / then switch sides like a record changer” and “He can’t see it in my face / but I’m about to play my Ace” just scream Slytherin.
I Did Something Bad
I could have included half the songs from reputation on here, if I wanted to. But how could I not include this one, which talks about playing narcissists “like a violin” and embraces the idea of hurting people before they can hurt you. “This is how the world works”, the singer adds, a sentiment that the “Old Taylor” would never have agreed with.
Look What You Made Me Do
I’ve included a couple of other revenge songs on this list, but this one – wow. “Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time” – this “smarter”, “harder” version of Taylor Swift is not just angry at one person, but rather, angry at the world. You can just see her clawing her way to the top, trying to steal back those “kingdom keys”.
“Nothing good starts in a getaway car,” at least according to this song. Although the narrator is desperate for an escape, it’s also clear that the metaphorical getaway car driver is just a means to an end who she will eventually leave. “We were jet-set Bonnie and Clyde / until I turned to the other side / It’s no surprise I turned you in / cause us traitors never win”. It’s not that Slytherins are in any way incapable of loyalty, but they are loyal to themselves first, along with perhaps one or two others. The driver of a getaway car, the rebound boyfriend, or the partner-in-crime doesn’t factor into that.